805 days and sometimes it still seems like yesterday.
For the most part I cope so well. People don’t see the hurt in my eyes like they used to, people don’t look at me and see a dead baby anymore. They see Finnegan’s mom. I love that. But the part that hurts the most is that they rarely see Everlee’s mom anymore. And if they do, they don’t mention it.
I was browsing through Facebook last night as I lay on the couch after Finnegan had gone to bed. It was the mundane stuff I had come to expect. Political post. Someone selling something. Share this in 30 seconds or your eyeballs will fall out. And then, like a swift kick in the kidneys a mother/daughter makeover contest for mother’s day. And I bawled. Not cried. Bawled. Full out ugly cry. I’ll never get those mother/daughter moments. And I miss her. I really effing miss her.
Take a deep breath Rhonda, and you’ll make it through 806.